What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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