xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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