It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
