Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
