He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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