look no pants
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
