If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
