Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
