I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
