you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
