Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
