There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
