if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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