are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
