he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
