There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just forgot I was standing up.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
