we have officially lost it.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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