Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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