Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
