oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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