just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
