The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
