Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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