Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
