they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
