How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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