He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
