they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
