I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
