Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
