Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Congratulations! We have a period
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
