which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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