That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Randomize
