but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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