okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
