Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
