But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
