just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
