You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
