The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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