I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
