Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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