she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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