Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
