Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
