More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
