Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
