yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
