Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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