I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
