More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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