Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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