she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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