Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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